Happy July 4th! I think?
Being an American abroad is always an exercise in perspective. But this July 4th, it feels like an exercise in crisis management – a reminder that while I’m thousands of miles away, the turmoil back home is escalating. It’s a lot to hold, and I can feel the intense stress of it even from here, especially for those of us moving through this collective overwhelm right now.
Here I am, tucked into a sun-bleached corner of Portugal – where nobody is wearing star-spangled anything, contemplating whether I should even acknowledge the holiday.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate where I’m from. I do.
Hey, this girl from Iowa, grew up on the mythology of fireworks, the reverence for freedom so grand it had its own annual festival of hot dogs and excessive flag decor. But this year, watching the strife from a safe European distance, I’m aware of just how complicated it feels to celebrate something as broad and unwieldy as “America.”
People here don’t much care that it’s America’s birthday. On July 4th, sunny, warm Southern Portugal keeps going as it always does: cafes full of locals nursing espressos, tourists squinting at tiled facades, the Atlantic exhaling salt air over our Lagos harbor.
No fireworks displays in the evening, no parades down the main streets. If I were to walk around with an American flag t-shirt, I suspect the response would be a polite curiosity (maybe a little bemused pity these days). Because what exactly are we celebrating? Freedom?! Not now, when America is turning inside-out on itself.
Finding what to celebrate amidst intense stress
How do we toast to liberty when civil rights feels SO VERY fragile? How do you wave a flag when it has become, in many contexts, less a unifying emblem than a tribal signal? These are pressing questions whether you’re inside or outside the country’s gravitational pull.
And so, if we… No – I really mean if I am to celebrate July 4th here in Portugal, it can’t be the performative pageantry we know historically. It has to be something more introspective, more honest – an intention, or perhaps a prayer. As humans, we need rituals to tether us to time and place. But “celebrating” (or let’s say “observing”) July 4th this year feels really conditional – tempered by grief over all that is broken (and getting more broken!).
Processing our shared grief and loss
Saying this then, how will I mark the 4th? For now, I’ll do the only thing I can do – offer my deepest intentions for moving through this historical epoch with perseverance and caution in equal measure. I believe there is a specific healing in processing deep grief and loss instead of pretending the pain isn’t there.
Learning to acknowledge this intense stress is the first step toward releasing its grip on our nervous systems. We know that intense stress affects our health in ways that require us to be much more tender with ourselves. Reconciling the ideals with the brutal reality, and deciding what to do with the looooong distance between them.
I’d love to hear how you’re thinking about July 4th this year, whether you’re celebrating, questioning, or somewhere in between. I invite you to drop down to the comments section and share your reflections.
With Love,
Becca
