Maybe you’re in a position where you’re in charge of hiring others for a business. And even if you’re not currently hiring, there may be a project in your future that requires you to hire a freelance contractor, like a web developer or a consultant. Or one day you may find yourself seeking help for a more personal need, like bringing on a new housekeeper, handyman, or caregiver.
Throughout my career as a businessperson and leadership coach I’ve worn many hats (culminating in my work as an emotions therapist), including managing and leading both small and large teams. While each hat may represent a different part of my story, they arrive at the same conclusion – that I’ve learned to always trust, follow, share, and teach my enduring approach to success.
Prioritizing the person or the polished presentation?
Recently, a friend excitedly shared the details of her new business endeavor, and when she finished, she asked me for advice. I offered what I consider my most important insight into running a successful business. And I realized what I told her is just as true for life and relationships as it is for business. So whether this helps you lead a team at work or nudges you toward nurturing meaningful connections in your life, I want to take a moment to share this insight with you (and as always, I want to hear your thoughts – drop down to the comment section and let me know if this resonates with you).
So here it is – my best practice for leading a successful small business:
- It all starts with creating a company culture where mutual respect and kindness form the foundation of the team environment, regardless of what kind of work you’re doing or how big or small the company may be.
- To maintain this culture, each team member you bring on should be somebody who embraces, respects, and thrives in it.
This is pivotal when I meet any new candidate for a position. During their initial interview, I prioritize asking evocative questions that can reflect the level of the person’s emotional maturity – observing the expression on their face and their body language and listening to how they answer. The importance of emotional maturity is even emphasized in the first paragraph of my job postings:
“Emotional resiliency is the foremost skill we require, because good interpersonal relationship skills transcend the best technical skillsets in the world. We choose our new team members carefully so you can bring your best self and awesome chops to this exciting project.”
Turning “old school” hiring on its head
This turns the “old school” hiring method on its head – like managers bringing in new hires with the best chops. If you’ve ever been in a workplace where you hired or worked with someone highly skilled, but they were totally incapable of interacting in a healthy way with others, then you know that a kick-ass skills set can be negated by the drama this toxic person stirs up.
Long before my enlightened hiring practice, I brought in a salesperson with impeccable skills (and good references but references can be manipulated). Turned out her strongest suit was belittling co-workers and undermining others’ wellbeing. Yet, once a new employee is in place, depending on hiring laws, the process to fire them can be prolonged – and painful as the rest of the team has to endure this poison person.
In typical workplace jargon, this dysfunction is often written off as: “does not play well with others,” and co-workers get mired in having to put up with the person’s misconduct – everyone and everything suffers.
It comes up frequently during my private 1-to-1 coaching with professionals, and I often work with them through involved sessions about how to maneuver in an environment with these toxic colleagues.
So, given the distress that one bad apple can inject into a work environment – it’s wise to prioritize character over credentials, making sure you hire employees based on their emotional maturity, and then consider the technical skills sets on their resume.
No bellboys or bag checks – manage your own baggage
Having said that, it’s not possible to check our emotional baggage at the workplace door and walk in as neutered automatons – emotionally masking so we may “play well with others.” That might be the expectation in our business culture – but it’s far from reality.
So, we all need to up our game when it comes to emotional maturity. In fact, for someone looking to be of their highest and best service — in whatever career arena they choose — it’s imperative that they do the deep inner work with themselves and learn how to mindfully process their strong emotions. Such emotional processing enables a person to move through the vagaries of life with wisdom and grace, and help others do the same. That’s true emotional maturity and is a hallmark of conscious leadership.
What are your thoughts on this? Are you a survivor of workplace dysfunction or maybe you’ve even made the mistake of hiring one of these saboteurs? I invite you to drop down to the comments and let me know your take on this.
With Love,
Becca
P.S. If you’re feeling the call to go deeper, I invite you to join my (fast approaching!) Sacred Medicine Retreat on May 11-13th in Southern Portugal. In this intimate, supportive setting, you’ll have the freedom to step away from the daily noise and reconnect with yourself.
You’ll explore Emotional Liberation practices – enhanced by the intentional use of psilocybin during two different guided sacred medicine experiences.
If you’re already in Europe – this conveniently located retreat is your opportunity to step away and reset. I’ve intentionally designed this short but impactful sacred medicine retreat to be accessible to as many people as a possible. In just 3-days / 2-nights, you’ll have the chance to enhance your journey of self-discovery. No long flights, no jet lag – just a meaningful, soul-nourishing getaway within reach. Learn more and register here.
