Maybe you’re in a position where you’re in charge of hiring others for a business. And even if you’re not currently hiring, there may be a project in your future that requires you to hire a freelance contractor, like a web developer or a consultant. Or one day you may find yourself seeking help for a more personal need, like bringing on a new housekeeper, handyman, or caregiver.
Throughout my career as a businessperson and leadership coach I’ve worn many hats (culminating to my work as an emotions therapist), including managing and leading both small and large teams. While each hat may represent a different part of my story, they arrive at the same conclusion – that I’ve learned to always trust, follow, share, and teach my enduring approach to success.
Prioritizing the person or the polished presentation?
When a friend of mine recenlty asked what advice I’d give to someone hoping to “follow in my footsteps.” She excitedly shared the details of her new endevour, and when she finished, I shared some stories and lessons I’ve learned over the years – but as I offered what I consider my most important insight into running a successful business, I realized what I told her is just as true for life and relationships as it is for business. So whether this helps you lead a team at work or nudges you toward nurturing meaningful connections in your life more often, I want to take a moment to share this insight with you (and as always, I want to hear your thoughts – Drop down to the comment section and let me know if this resonates with you).
So here it is – my best practice for leading a successful small business:
- It all starts with creating a company culture where mutual respect and kindness form the foundation of the team environment, regardless of what kind of work you’re doing or how big or small the company may be.
- So, to maintain this culture, each team member you bring on should be somebody who embraces, respects, and thrives in it.
I always remember this when I meet any new candidate. During their initial interview, I prioritize asking evocative questions that can reflect the level of the person’s emotional maturity – observing the expression on their face or their body language and listening to how they answer can reveal a lot. The importance of emotional maturity is even emphasized in the first paragraph of my job postings:
“Emotional resiliency is the foremost skill we require, because good interpersonal relationship skills transcend the best technical skill sets in the world. We choose our new team members carefully so you can bring your best self and awesome chops to this exciting project.”
Turning “old school” hiring on its head
This turns the “old school” hiring method on it’s head – like managers bringing in new hires with the best chops. If you’ve ever been in a workplace where you hired or worked with someone highly skilled, but they were totally incapable of interacting in a healthy way with others, then you know that a kick-ass skills set can be negated by the drama this toxic person stirs up.
Long before my enlightened hiring practice, I brought in a salesperson with impeccable skills (and good references but references can be manipulated). Turned out her strongest suite was belittling co-workers and undermining others’ wellbeing. Yet, once a new employee is in place, depending on hiring laws, the process to fire them can be prolonged – and painful as the rest of the team has to endure this poison person.
In typical workplace jargon, this dysfunction is often written off as: “does not play well with others,” and co-workers get mired in having to put up with the person’s misconduct – everyone and everything suffers.
It comes up frequently during my private 1-to-1 coaching with professionals, and I often work with them through involved sessions about how to maneuver with a these toxic colleagues.
So, given the distress that one bad apple can inject into a work environment – it’s wise to prioritize character over credentials, making sure you hire employees based on their emotional maturity, and then consider the technical skills sets on their resume.
No bellboys or bag checks? Learn to carry your own luggage.
Having said that, it’s not possible to check our emotional baggage at the workplace door and walk in as neutered automatons – emotionally masking so we may “play well with others.” That might be the expectation in our business culture – but far it’s from the reality.
So, we all need to up our game when it comes to emotional maturity. In fact, for someone looking to be of their highest and best service — in whatever career arena they choose — it’s imperative that they do the deep inner work with themselves and learn how to mindfully process their strong emotions. This important emotional processing enables a person to move through the ups and downs of life with wisdom and grace and help others do the same. That’s true emotional maturity and is a hallmark of conscious leadership.
What are your thoughts on this? Are you a survivor of workplace dysfunction or maybe you’ve even made the mistake of hiring one of these saboteurs?* Just drop down to the comments and let me know your take on this.
With Love,
Becca
P.S. Feeling the call to go deeper? I’m inviting you to join me for my fast-approaching Sacred Medicine Retreat in the stunning, sun-drenched south of Portugal. In this intimate and supportive setting, you’ll have the space to step away from the noise of daily life and reconnect with your truest self.
Choose from two retreat sessions: May 11–13 or May 14–16. In both, you’ll be guided through the transformative practices of Emotional Liberation—paired with two distinct sacred psilocybin experiences designed to support deep emotional release and self-discovery.
And if you’re already in Europe, this retreat was made for you. It’s short, affordable, and easily accessible—no long flights, no jet lag. Just three days and two nights of meaningful connection, healing, and personal growth. I’ve intentionally designed it to be powerful and practical, so you can truly reset without uprooting your life.
