“Think positive thoughts. Think positive thoughts. Think positive thoughts!”
“Just keep a positive mental attitude”
“Raise your vibration”
“Don’t worry. Be happy!”
Whether it’s a secular or spiritual environment, so much of what we’re taught about how to manage our thoughts boils down to one message:
“Don’t think those bad thoughts!
Think only good thoughts!”
And it’s a prescription for mental disaster.
Psychologist John Welwood first observed this tendency in the 1980’s. He called it “spiritual bypassing” – the use of positive thinking to sidestep deeper emotional work and unhealed psychological wounds.
“We all have parts of ourselves we’d rather not look at so we deny or push them aside. When we bury these aspects in the subconscious rather than resolve and integrate them they often take on dysfunctional roles and behaviors that prevent healing and cause harm to ourselves and relationships. Offering up only positive thinking or “love and light” is an approach that circumvents the roots of the issues at hand and causes further harm.”
– John Welwood
Embodying Your Realization – Psychological Work in the Service of Spiritual Development
Seeking transcendence to escape problems
Back in the day, when I was struggling with anxiety, depression, anger, and a crippling self-doubt, it made perfect sense to push those emotions down with “good thoughts.” In fact, I spent decades of my life searching for a way to keep the “positive mental attitude” that would fix me. I devoted countless hours to retreats, seminars, and spiritual practices that taught me to suppress or ignore what I was really feeling.
I would emerge from those events feeling better, but inevitably, the same emotional turbulence would come roaring back, sometimes within days… sometimes within minutes. It was a familiar cycle – temporary relief followed by yet another flood of the emotional distress I was drowning in.
So when I was introduced to Emotional Liberation in 2014, it felt like someone had flipped on a light in a dark room. Instead of being guided to silence my thoughts or picture peaceful landscapes during meditation, I was invited to turn toward my emotions – to actually focus on the pain that had been tormenting me for decades.
Surprisingly, it felt natural. My chattering mind had always wanted to go there anyway. But allowing the dread of anxiety, the darkness of depression, and the despair of self-doubt to rise to the surface was anything but easy. It was overwhelming – and at times it was agonizing.
But I wasn’t alone with it. I could stay present with what I was feeling because I had a new set of tools for receiving, processing, and releasing my emotions: the powerful blend of Eastern practices, neuroscience-informed methods, and the mindful use of cannabis and psilocybin as plant medicine allies.
That’s when the real healing began.
Facing Difficult Emotions Is the Work
The transformation I experienced was so profound that once I found calm, clarity, and emotional freedom, the only thing I wanted to do was help others find it too. And that’s why I guide and teach Emotional Liberation. We don’t push away so-called “negative” thoughts. We invite them in. We explore the emotions behind them.
It is challenging, especially in the beginning. Most of us were never taught how to feel into our emotions or how to sit with discomfort – let alone understand it. But we can do the work and fill that knowledge gap – it does close when you have the right tools and guidance. As you practice, you condition your nervous system to be able to feel what you’re feeling, and you are cultivating the awareness to know why you’re feeling it.
It’s a life-changing equation
What I love about this work is that it’s not hit-or-miss. It doesn’t rely on abstract spiritual frameworks or temporary emotional highs. It offers a clear, structured process for identifying and addressing unresolved emotional patterns. And as those long-held patterns come to light, you stop unconsciously acting them out in ways that sabotage your relationships and erode your self-worth. This is where lasting change begins – with the strength to face yourself fully and the freedom to live more openly, authentically, and connected.
With Love,
Becca
P.S. Have you ever found yourself (or witnessed another person) using “positive vibes” to avoid uncomfortable emotions? I’d love to hear your about experience with spiritual bypassing – drop down into the comments section below to share.
P.P.S. And if you’re feeling called to explore your emotions more honestly, I’d love to support you on that path in my upcoming Emotional Liberation course. Sign up for the course interest list here, and I’ll make sure you receive early details when it’s ready.
