Back in the day, anxiety was the wallpaper and furnishings of my mind. I (somehow) soldiered through, but living in anxiety was a way of life for me. I’d panic in social situations, I’d worry about upcoming events (that paranoid feeling of suspicion and mistrust of people or their actions without evidence or justification), and I’d ruminate – focusing on repetitive thoughts of catastrophe.
I have a friend who by any measure of success has “made it”. He’s an acclaimed authority in his field; he makes good money and others clamor to work with him.
Yet, he feels as if he’s never caught-up. As a perfectionist he’s nose to the grindstone working nights and weekends but seldom claims victories.
Are there shades of this in you? If so, you may have a form of depression, what’s called cold depression, that’s the opposite of what we normally imagine depression to be.
Hold your applause, but tomorrow, December 24th, is my birthday. I’m in good company with Santa and baby Jesus!
If someone asked me how old I feel I am, I’d say about 450 years. All the shit I’ve been through to get where I am today, I’ve moved mountains through centuries. You could say I’m a young 450-year-old. I stay in shape 😉