How does your “losing it” story go?

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How do you present yourself to the outside world?

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Personally, I used to hide my emotional pain and look normal enough. Professional, successful, measured. But behind that facade lived my wounded self. And when something or someone said or did something that triggered me, that wounded self seized me like the Incredible Hulk hijacking the mild mannered Bruce Banner and lashing out.

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These patterns – where emotion ruthlessly takes over – are all anchored by trauma. For you it might have been little things that you’ve put out of your head – and don’t even think of as trauma. Others can be devastated and carry a painful trauma burden that’s never far from the surface. And everything in between. I have more to say about this in this week’s blog:

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There is so much about our brain and mind health that we don’t know. Neurology – the study of our nervous system, the anatomy of it, how it functions, the diseases of the nerves and the nervous system… we’ve come a long way, but there’s so much new coming out all the time.

And importantly, in the arena of neurology and psychology, we’re finally understanding the scope of trauma – very much involved with our nervous system.

So trauma is a much more wide-ranging experience than what we’ve been led to believe from our conventional definition of it.

Most of us think of trauma as this overwhelming, jolting event or on-going series of abuse, neglect, rejection. And that’s certainly trauma. But it can also come as a result of not being valued and respected as a child in a more subtle way… in this kind of environment our boundaries are often violated and we may not have had a trusted adult to guide us through how to be aware of our emotions that are coming up or how to process them.

I know back in the day, this was my issue. As a child, up-beat feelings like being joyful or loving were always welcome BUT being afraid, or nervous or sad or especially angry …being frustrated over something – those emotions were not welcome. And a stern voice could boom out, “snap out of it”. or “Quit whining” OR maybe you’re ignored.

And you just sucked it up. That can be traumatic, whether you’re aware of it or there are patterns that indicate it.

So the patterns in your life can tell you whether you’re wrestling with trauma. And here are a few indications.

If you experience social anxiety, chronic social anxiety, you might find yourself hyper-vigilant in a group, scoping out the situation and monitoring what you believe others are thinking about you.

Or you have an overwhelming desire for people to like you – pay attention to this… whether it’s friends, romantic partners, people you work with. You may be thinking, “do they like me?” rather than feeling into whether you like them because acceptance, generally any acceptance is so important to you.

Another sign of trauma, you might not be aware of, is that there’s a sense of not feeling safe, right here, right now… in the present. It may not occur to us but subconsciously, we don’t want to be here. If you’ve noticed a constant need for distraction like being on social media so that you don’t have to face this moment for whatever reason. Also, many find themselves kind of tuning out, putting themselves someplace else… called dissociating.

Or an on-going Inner critic that hooks us with stories we make up of comparison and self-judgment. Envy and jealousy. And social media offers up a buffet of ways to judge and compare, doesn’t it?

And again you might not have a memory of anything in particular to connect these behaviors with. We just know that we move around with this sense of feeling less about ourselves.

If you resonate with what I’m talking about, drop down to the comments section and let me know your take on trauma… where do you land with what I’m saying?

Coming up, I’ll be launching my new 8-week Emotional Expansion Master Course. This program gives you simple steps to dissolve those yucky feelings that we’re talking about, whatever that looks like for you, a little or a lot. It moves you out of stress, out of despair, out of overwhelm and puts the power back in your hands. You gain clarity, you discover your purpose and passion and begin to revel in self-trust and self-confidence.

And of course, as you might know, we include the judicious use of cannabis in this work, always optional but most of our students like working with this plant medicine.

So if you’d like to know more, I invite you to click the link below this video. It’ll give you a summary and the option to find out more and register.

I’m Becca Williams, and I want you to lead your most magnificent life, and I want to help you do that.

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