Perhaps less intense but still traumatically impactful? Maybe your parents or caregivers were busy and distracted with their work or their own emotional pain – and couldn’t give you the attention and love you so longed for. This is when ghosting can feel a lot like painful abandonment.
To this day you may have an antenna for feeling marginalized or ignored when someone chooses to ghost you. Personally, even after all the work I’ve done on myself, people ghosting me can be a trigger even now (“What did I do to cause this?”). Maybe they don’t return texts, phone calls, or emails or avoid having clarifying conversations – despite earlier experiences that seemed cordial and grounded.
However, that “trigger” for me is now weak and distant – more like a sharp pang that serves to remind me how much I’ve healed and how emotionally resilient I’ve become. I now simply dismiss it, “It’s about them, not me!”
With the emotional and trauma release work I’ve personally done, I no longer question my sense of worthiness and value. I don’t have to yell and scream and jump up-and-down to get attention and seek approval (anymore). This is because I understand and accept my value – and ghosting by others doesn’t matter much.
If you’re the one who’s ghosting…
P.S. A big part of recognizing your patterns is doing things to heighten your awareness. A through-line in my emotional and trauma release work are ambitious practices (we often call them neuro-workouts) that put you in touch with your deep inner knowing. Want to try it? Go here to read details and register
for the next event. It’s my gift to our awakening community.