As a clinician and emotions therapist, I was drawn to teach this revolutionary new path of self-healing because it healed me! And, now several years later, many attest to its effectiveness.
But building my online practice was slow and I was bombarded with lots and lots of “unsubscribes” …I’d get the notices and each one was a small dart that punctured my self-confidence. Eventually I came to understand that the people who wanted to follow cannabis goings-on on a TV show were not (mostly) the same people who wanted to pursue personal healing and wellbeing.
Even with that rationale, I felt rejection. It was old, old Shame stuff that I thought I had worked through but new layers of not good enough percolated up: “Why don’t they like me?” “What am I doing wrong?” “My work doesn’t matter.”
On hindsight, that rejection I felt was my latest lesson in working through yet another layer of Self-doubt undermining my sense of worthiness. Even though I had already sloughed off layers-and-layers of trauma, this hit me where it hurt… the perceived rejection that what I was passionately offering was not something that people were interested in.
Since then, I’ve come to understand so much more about online marketing and stuff like your ideal audience. People who were fans of the TV show were not necessarily the people looking for emotional healing and recovery. HA! Not by a long shot. It was a big ship to turn-around as huge numbers of people unsubscribed before I actually got traction with new people coming on board – excited and intrigued by what I was offering.
I’m now in a place where I can objectively view the unfolding of this experience. Maybe it sounds weird to say that I value the pain of the rejection that I had to process – since so many of my students and clients come to me struggling and stuck in patterns of rejection. In fact, the experience makes me better at what I do.
And we’ve come to know that the pain of rejection feels just as agonizing as physical pain. Research on neural pathways points to substantial overlap in the brain between the hurt of physical pain and the pain of rejection. What’s more, long after it’s over, we recall emotional rejection more strongly than an episode of physical pain.
We humans are social creatures by nature and the feeling of rejection – that pain that arises around loss, being marginalized, left out, and spurned are emotional wounds that can be left festering for one’s entire life. That’s why it’s so rewarding for me to offer my guidance and support to help people move through and heal from the emotional pain that keeps them in perpetual cycles of stress, overwhelm and feelings of rejection.
P.S. what has been your experience? Hit “reply” and let me know!