What to say when you’re asked “How are you doing?”

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”no” hundred_percent_height=”no” hundred_percent_height_scroll=”no” hundred_percent_height_center_content=”yes” equal_height_columns=”no” menu_anchor=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” status=”published” publish_date=”” class=”” id=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” padding_top=”” padding_right=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center” linear_angle=”180″ background_color=”” background_image=”” background_position=”center center” background_repeat=”no-repeat” fade=”no” background_parallax=”none” enable_mobile=”no” parallax_speed=”0.3″ background_blend_mode=”none” video_mp4=”” video_webm=”” video_ogv=”” video_url=”” video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_loop=”yes” video_mute=”yes” video_preview_image=”” filter_hue=”0″ filter_saturation=”100″ filter_brightness=”100″ filter_contrast=”100″ filter_invert=”0″ filter_sepia=”0″ filter_opacity=”100″ filter_blur=”0″ filter_hue_hover=”0″ filter_saturation_hover=”100″ filter_brightness_hover=”100″ filter_contrast_hover=”100″ filter_invert_hover=”0″ filter_sepia_hover=”0″ filter_opacity_hover=”100″ filter_blur_hover=”0″][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ layout=”2_3″ spacing=”” center_content=”no” link=”” target=”_self” min_height=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” hover_type=”none” border_size=”0″ border_color=”” border_style=”solid” border_position=”all” border_radius=”” box_shadow=”no” dimension_box_shadow=”” box_shadow_blur=”0″ box_shadow_spread=”0″ box_shadow_color=”” box_shadow_style=”” padding_top=”” padding_right=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” background_type=”single” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center” linear_angle=”180″ background_color=”” background_image=”” background_image_id=”” background_position=”left top” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_blend_mode=”none” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”left” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_offset=”” filter_type=”regular” filter_hue=”0″ filter_saturation=”100″ filter_brightness=”100″ filter_contrast=”100″ filter_invert=”0″ filter_sepia=”0″ filter_opacity=”100″ filter_blur=”0″ filter_hue_hover=”0″ filter_saturation_hover=”100″ filter_brightness_hover=”100″ filter_contrast_hover=”100″ filter_invert_hover=”0″ filter_sepia_hover=”0″ filter_opacity_hover=”100″ filter_blur_hover=”0″ last=”true” first=”true”][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”default” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”left” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_offset=””]

“How are you doing?” Asking this is the polite and well intended custom of being social. But it’s also a set-up for bellyaching and comparing complaints, which gets really old – especially if you’re looking for ways to not stay “in your story”. Here’s a bright alternative that will take you to a more generous place:

[/fusion_text][fusion_separator style_type=”default” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” sep_color=”#fffcfc” top_margin=”10px” bottom_margin=”20px” border_size=”” icon=”” icon_circle=”” icon_circle_color=”” width=”” alignment=”center” /][fusion_vimeo id=”https://vimeo.com/424125171″ alignment=”left” width=”800″ height=”” autoplay=”false” api_params=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” css_id=”” /][fusion_separator style_type=”default” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” sep_color=”#fffcfc” top_margin=”10px” bottom_margin=”20px” border_size=”0″ icon=”” icon_circle=”” icon_circle_color=”” width=”” alignment=”center” /][fusion_accordion type=”accordions” boxed_mode=”” border_size=”1″ border_color=”” background_color=”” hover_color=”” divider_line=”” title_font_size=”” icon_size=”” icon_color=”” icon_boxed_mode=”” icon_box_color=”” icon_alignment=”” toggle_hover_accent_color=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=””][fusion_toggle title=”Video Transcript” open=”no” class=”” id=””]

What’s been coming up quite frequently in conversations I’ve been having in general, and ESPECIALLY with my mentoring clients and groups, because they’re curious about finding ways to elevate out of the hohum-ness of life. Anyway, what’s been coming up frequently is how do you navigate this question that’s part of the friendly salutation when we interact with someone. And that is: Hey! How are you? How you doing?


It’s certainly a well-intended custom- it’s what we do and what we say in our society to be generous, nice. And it’s especially poignant during this COVID-19 event, where in many cases our lives have been turned upside-down. And we can have a lot to say about that.


So what happens is this friendly and well-intended conversation starter, if you will, becomes an absolute set-up for handwringing and downloading all your troubles and woes. That is a bad road to go down if you’re looking to NOT get sucked in to a vortex of negativity.


So I’ve been suggesting a more conscious alternative to that. For those who are serious about elevating their life, we want conscious alternatives so we don’t get snagged in a swirl of negativity.


What we want are ways to settle ourself down and release whatever is knocking loudest on our head. And, of course, in my work cannabis serves as a huge ally in supporting this.


Anyway, we’re doing this Important transformational Innerwork and we’re feeling clearer and calmer… More clarity, right? We’ve done our breathwork, our kundalini… We’ve been communing with the Plant. We have all this good juju. And THEN, as human beings are wont to do, we go out into the world and interact with others.


Hey Becca, how are you doing?…


This is the pivot. Wait for it: “I’m doing my best” Or, “I’m doing my very best”.


Now if it’s just a quick drive-by, that’s good enough. You’ve stirred the energy, changed the vibration of this interaction. Be proud!
But the interactions aren’t always drive-bys, right? Sometimes you need to hang-out and elaborate. The next step then is an advanced move – and I have every confidence that you can do this. It can go something like this: “I’m doing my best. I’m finding ways to ride the uncertainties that are coming up. And, it’s interesting, the best way I’ve found to do that is through some really powerful breathwork! I’ve been doing a few minutes every day, and it’s really been changing my point of view. Yes, my kids are still at home and my job is on the line, or whatever is going on with you – fill in the blank. But I’m finding that I can really change my state of being through this breathwork I’ve been doing. It’s really quite something … you might wanna think about trying it. And then give them my Youtube channel playlist of Emotional Liberation practices.


And what you’ve done, in that interaction, is you’re a role model… A role model for how to gracefully move through troubled waters. Make no mistake about it, it’s a practice. Just a little kundalini movement everyday. Oh, and by the way, there’s a difference between (frowning face) “I’m doing my best”… and …”I’m doing my best!” Fake it until you make it.


How are you managing with this polite- yet possibly tedious- conversation of regurgitating your stories? Do you believe that you have the power to turn the energy around and be a role model for how others respond? Drop down to the comments section and let me know – let all of us know. And if you’re watching this someplace other than on my website, BeccaWilliams.org, I invite you to head over there to comment and join the scintillating repartee.


(To the tune of “Happy Birthday”) I’m doing my best, yes I am. I’m doing my best, yes I am. I’m doing my best, yes I am. And I hope you are too.


I’m Becca Williams and I want you to lead your most magnificent life. I want to help you do that.

[/fusion_toggle][/fusion_accordion][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

3 thoughts on “What to say when you’re asked “How are you doing?””

  1. It’s an inner game AND an outer game to change patterns of behavior that no longer serve us. “Being in our story” and stirring it up with others who are also in “their story” only perpetuates behaviors and beliefs that keep us small.

    Reply
  2. YES! I believe I have the power! So motivational as always, Becca. And thank you for giving me a new perspective. Just a couple of days ago, I got asked this question and – ugh – the answer I gave. Well, no more! My new mantra – I’m doing my best (said with a smile). Whoo – feels so “light” just saying it. I’m spreading the good word – so many need this change of thinking, now more than ever! Thanks again for a powerful message. Nice kitchen by the way. And, who knew – she sings too!

    Reply
    • Your Super Power (although there are undoubtedly many!) …. Doing Your Best. Thank you for your kind words:)

      Reply

Leave a Comment